Families, classrooms, all kinds of human groups are intricate, evolving social and emotional worlds. They exist to protect and nourish but living in them is not always easy. And, when one of us is not doing well, none of us are. This makes them a delicate, dynamic, messy, and endless work in progress.

This book centres around those moments when we must get involved, or call a child out on an unsafe, careless, or selfish action. Pitched well beyond the superficiality of making "happy families" or "obedient classes," this book dives into the colour and chaos of life. It provides guidance for navigating the commotion and the processes, as well as the grit required in the tougher moments. It’s these moments that reveal what is really happening between children and their parents, educators, or carers. The book outlines a special set of attitudes and skills described as using our "soft eyes and warm hearts." In this space, we hold a child or teen accountable using an almost counterculture mindset. One that connects leadership and strength directly with kindness. This humane approach is more likely to leave young people in a position where they might want to feel responsible, make amends and changes, rather than being forced to. If we are to improve our relationships, outcomes, and futures with this generation of kids we must commit to truthful conversation, reflection, and preparation.

Written by trusted author Mark Le Messurier, an experienced teacher, counsellor and public speaker, this is an essential guide for parents, carers, teachers, educational leaders, and allied health professionals responsible for the wellbeing of young people.