From the “New York Times friendship correspondent,” a definitive step-by-step guide to understanding the fundamental mechanics of friendship

Modern friendships can be painfully ambiguous. But they don’t have to be. Journalist Anna Goldfarb has your back. “It’s understandable if your friendships are floundering. You’re up against historically new forces that we, as a culture, have no precedent for navigating,” she says. With Modern Friendship, Anna shares a manual for understanding what is pushing our friendships to the brink and provides actionable advice for forming authentic, enduring connections today.

It’s never been easier to shed friendships, which is precisely why we need a new approach to keeping them strong. Anna argues that we need to update our approach to friendships in a way that accounts for the hyper-fluid society we live in. The key to forming a lasting bond is what Anna calls “Wholehearted Friendship”—proven strategies to enhance enthusiastic connection.

Blending keen insights, cutting-edge social research, and intuitive practical tools, she invites you to explore:

• Why modern friendships are so ambiguous—and how to get clarity
• How desire influences friend selection, why friendships fail, and how to hone your friendship intuition
• Mattering to others—establishing boundaries, being flexible, having fun, and setting up your friendships for success
• Tools for the tough times—exercises, prompts, scripts, and advice on keeping friendships active even when life gets hectic
• Practicing Wholehearted Friendship—how to be caring, curious, appreciative, and supportive to a friend in any situation
• Trying a 14-day Friendship Cleanse—two weeks of actionable advice to clarify your wishes in friendship and strengthen your connections, both old and new

Grasping the mechanics of friendships will liberate you from the prison of self-doubt. “Your friendships are precious. They’re vital. They matter. So let’s understand, cultivate, and harness their incredible power,” says Anna. With Modern Friendship, you’ll discover how to be a more self-assured and empowered friend to the most meaningful people in your life. Let Anna show you how.